When WWII broke out with the men overseas many women helped in the war effort by taking their place in the workforce, when the men returned the women went back to their homes.

TV’s Mad Men and Kathryn Stockett’s book The Help shows women of another decade; when Bridge was played every Tuesday afternoon, marriage and children transpired within a predestined time frame and one volunteered for committees like the Junior League as their mothers did before them. There was even the correct attire for all of these situations. And if a woman did take her white cotton gloves and rollered hair out of the house to look for work it was assumed that she was applying for a clerical position.

She was meeting everyone’s expectations.

While I have no intention of belabouring the women’s movement that was soon to follow (as this has been done to death) I do think that it is important to remember its historical premise but more significantly to process the outcome... that quite simply we no longer have to conform to the expectations of others or fit into a stereotypical mould.

The decisions we make, the roles we take on, what groups we join and thank goodness, how we look while we are doing all this is now a matter of individual choice.

You can be a mother after 40 or not at all, have a video conference call from your home office wearing bunny slippers, buy store baking for your son’s school event and spend Wednesday evening with your book club group while your husband looks after the kids. This isn’t front page, burning one’s bra news but for women going about their daily lives it does mean you do things your way. Constraint, regrets and striving for perfection are not part of your world.

Meeting our own expectations is what a woman’s life should be about.

Post Script

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Contact Jill Crossland

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